Wednesday, May 16, 2012

The Things Left Behind by Judy Truesdell

The following beautiful account includes Judy Truedell's thoughts and impressions of Oakland Rural Cemetery in Porter Center (Niagara County.)  You can find more information about "the residents" of Oakland Rural Cemetery at:

http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=cr&CRid=2284335&CScn=oakland&CScntry=4&CSst=36&CScnty=2009&






I've always been fascinated by the things people place on the graves of loved ones. I'm curious about who the people in the graves are.  Why the items mean something to those left behind and why they might mean something to the deceased?  Walking in a cemetery I've seen all kinds of things.  Teddy bears, race cars, toy dogs, horses, balloons, Christmas trees, bird houses, any number of things which are a clue to the people buried there. 

I was noticing these things as I took my dog for a walk yesterday in the cemetery a few miles from my house.  It's an old cemetery somewhat hidden between two parkway entrances and across from a large golf course.  Usually, I take my dog to the park just down the road in the other direction from my house, but it was cold close to the lake and the cemetery is farther off the lake shore and warmer.

I walked slowly up and down the rows of head stones toward the little wooded area toward the back.  My dog pulled excitedly at the end of his leash, poking his head in every single nook and lifting his leg at every bush and tree. 

I knew some of the people buried there.  Some of them I just know by the familiar names of villages and roads on the stones. 
Several of the stones had mementos placed on them.  One had a lovely sculpture of a wolf.  Another older one had a rhinestone covered horseshoe necklace left carefully at the base.  The owner had passed away years ago.  I was wondering at it when I saw a headstone with a large Christmas wreath set against it.  I walked over to investigate.  This wreath was at least four ft. across and sat against the  base of a stone of a boy who died at the age of 5.  The grave wasn't as old as some of the others. Maybe 10 years now that I think of it.  The wreath was fantastic and beautiful.  it was covered in tiny boxes tied up like presents with shiny paper and bows.  A garland of colored lights was wrapped around it and on a big bow at the bottom was a stuffed Grover from Sesame Street.  The thing that astonished me though, was the Christopher Radko blown glass ornaments tied around the wreath.  They were large colorful thin glass painted brightly with not an imperfection on them.  There was a snowman, gingerbread house and Christmas tree all glittering and perfect despite the winter winds and many fallen trees and broken branches laying around the site.  I looked at the grave for a few minutes wondering about the amount of overwhelming grief the decorators must have felt or joy at the giving of the decorations, I wasn't sure which. 


I moved on, with the urging of my dog, into the wooded area to allow him to explore the many stumps and holes.  While he dug and nosed his way through the leaves I called my sister to catch up on family news, mentioning to her some of the things I had found.  She loves the historical significance of cemeteries.  I told her we should get together here for a walk. 
All-in-all, I would say I was there for a few hours, enjoying the quiet time with my little beagle playing hunter of imaginary prey.  Finally, I decided I should make my way back to the front of the cemetery to the strip where cars are parked in a line along the road.  I decided to stop once again at the wreath and squatted down to touch and admire each of the beautiful glass pieces.  I stood up and backed away to turn around and was startled to find a couple standing a few feet behind me.  "oh, excuse me, hi" I said and started to gather the dogs leash in my hand and turned, embarrassed, to the front of the cemetery.  I was kind of ashamed to be touching something that didn't belong to me and I was afraid they thought I was going to harm the wreath, even though I don't know why they would think I might. 

I walked the dog over to the edge of the head-stone line and headed towards my car.  I turned once and looked quickly at the couple.  I noticed the woman was dressed in a long gray coat and gray hat, She was kind of mousy, maybe in her 60's, with brown boots and a scarf tied around her neck.  She wasn't facing me.  She and her husband? walked away from me towards the back of the cemetery.  She mumbled something quietly but he didn't say anything.  Actually, I barely noticed him at all except that he seemed a little stooped and seemed the blue-collar type of working man. His coat was more like a woolen hunting jacket but brown and faded in color.  He wore a hat as well.  They were a few feet apart and walked slowly but sort of purposely to the back.

I headed toward the parking lot at the front.  I remember I clicked the door lock, looked up and almost dropped my keys when I saw there wasn't another car on the strip of gravel that is the parking lot.  I looked at the road. It's too far for someone to take a stroll from the nearest house.  Where did this couple come from?  What were they doing going to the back of the cemetery where there was a small woods leading to a parkway and then nothing for quite a ways.  I started to put my dog in the back of my car, and then stopped and took him out and walked along the front of the cemetery to the eastern edge.  No car was parked on the road down that way.

The cemetery has a driveway to the back with a little turn-around.  That's where the newer graves are although there aren't many of those.  That section faces the parkway and while I was there only one car drove up that way. The radio was loud and the car was filled with a bunch of kids.  They saw me walking and made one turn around and left.  No car was up that road now.  I stood at the corner of the cemetery looking across the slope that leads up to the wooded area.  I didn't see anyone at all.  Purposely,  I took the leash and headed back toward where i had just come from.  When I got about halfway I realized they were no longer there.  Where did they go?  I should have been able to see them up on the slope.  My dog and I were alone. 



I headed back to my car and got in. I texted my sister, "hey, I'm still at the cemetery looking at that wreath I told you about and I just saw a couple walk toward the back and disappear.  There isn't any car here but mine!"

 I think she thought I was kidding.


"lol" she typed back.


I wasn't.  This is a true story. 




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